Bachelor Blog Catfight!

There can be only one.

It’s true in Highlander. It’s true in the Bachelor, and it’s even more true in the land of Sonoma Bachelor blogs.

It has come to our attention that there is ANOTHER blog that claims to have the inside scoop on both Sonoma and The Bachelor. This blog, cleverly called “bachelor.blog” in a retro cool nod to mid-naughties blog naming schemes, is on a site run by the New York Times Halifax News Company.

To be fair, this other blog has some cool things. For example, they nailed that there was a Bachelor viewing party a the Big 3 restaurant at the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn. We concede, and regret, our failure to cover it.

Also, they tend to write from a news angle, versus a “stare at your own bellybutton” angle, which while highbrow, does violate the central ethos of the blogoshere. (“Maximal output, minimal preparation.”)

We cannot confirm nor deny that Maureen Dowd writes this stuff.

As of this writing, that blog has nine posts, this one now has six.

The game is on. Just as the bachelorettes will use their wits, their wiles and their wares to get to Ben, so too shall the Sonoma Bachelor blog use our amazing knowledge of Sonoma, our terrifying eye for detail and our strong stomach for reality TV to win the rose of attention from you, the internet reading public…

Find Blakely in Sonoma!

Blakely has disappeared! Where has she wondered off to?

Near the end of Episode 2 (Attack of the Clones) Blakely hides from the other bachelorettes, and from Ben.

Ben is on the search.

Sonoma County is a pretty big place – more than a million acres! Where can she be hiding?

Here’s three guesses:

1) Armstrong Woods: This place is large, and there are lots of trees and bushes to hide behind. These trees are enormous Coast Redwoods, which means they can be as tall as the soccer field where Ben won his high-school state soccer championship. Blakely could be hiding in a hollowed-out stump, in the gully of a seasonal creek, or even high up in the canopy of these ancient giants. Ben will need some sturdy walking shoes and a sharp eye to see her, especially if she wears forest-green Jimmy Choos to blend in.

You gotta look close. She could be anywhere in here.

2) The Coast: Just like Armstrong Woods, the Sonoma Coast is a large area with a lot of diversity. She could be trying some chowder at Bodega Bay, strolling along one of the sandy beaches at Stillwater Cove, or even disguised as a Russian settler re-enactor at the Fort Ross bicentennial celebration. To find her, Ben will need his trusty truck, his little dog and an hour or so to drive the legendary Pacific Coast Highway on his quest. (And if he wants to surf, he could stop at Salmon Creek Beach on the way.)

3) Fremont Diner: An unassuming little stop in southern Sonoma County, if you were going to hide somewhere, it might as well be here. They have great fried chicken and pies.

Is that her lipstick on that mug?

Better Sonoma Bachelor Roses

At the end of “The Bachelor,” the young winemaker-turned-Bachelor Ben Flajnik has to give out roses to the bachelorettes he deems should move on to the next round.

Sadly, not every young woman can get a rose. And though the final moments of the show are fraught with reality-TV orchestrations (the piano and violin during the final goodbyes always bring a briny tear to our jaded eyes…) we have good news, bachelorettes! You may not have found a rose at the hands of Bachelor Ben Flajnik, but here are…

Three Other Places to Find Roses in Sonoma:

1) Compass Rose Gardens in Bodega Bay. Wanna get married? Or, want to find a place that would be a great spot to pretend you are getting married, but not have to worry about inviting your weird cousins? Then check out this secret garden tucked into a hillside in Bodega Bay. As they say on their website: “Azaleas and ivys, lavender and lacecaps, impatiens and iris, rhododendrons and roses, ferns and flowers of all sorts have been patiently planted around, between, and beneath native willows along the spring-fed creek that carved the canyon into Sonoma County’s spectacular coast. Willows, Japanese maples, ferns, and a multitude of seasonally changing blossoms provide the perfect backdrop for your special event.” 

Somewhere in that horticultural menagerie was mentioned roses, and there are some great ones to see, and maybe even touch. And the best thing? You don’t even have to get in a hot tub to get one.

Compass Rose Gardens
Bodega Bay, Sonoma County, CA
www.compassrosegardens.com

2) Santa Rosa is the largest city in Sonoma County, and has a lot of rose-affiliations. For starters, the name, which is one of the last Spanish place names in California as one heads north. Santa Rosa is home to the Luther Burbank Rose Parade (take that, Pasadena) and the amazing gardens at the Luther Burbank Home and Gardens. There are roses, but better yet, you can learn about the man who helped make french fries so awesome by “inventing” the Russet Burbank Potato. Also in Santa Rosa is the historc Hotel La Rose, in Railroad Square. Quaint, intimate and romantic, the Hotel La Rose is exactly the kind of spot to linger over a nice Sonoma County wine and learn more about your partner before leaping into ones betrothal.

Santa Rosa
Just 60 minutes from San Francisco
www.visitsantarosa.com

3) Speaking of wine, Bottle Barn is one of those places where there are LOTS of rosés. And pinots. And zins and chards and cabernets. And just about any other wine and spirit you can think of. Tucked away behind a futon warehouse and light industrial manufacturers, this mega-wine shop is a well-kept secret. Spoiler alert: you can often see winemakers themselves making deliveries of their small-batch wines direct to Bottle Barn. No word on how to intercept the single ones. Perhaps riding a horse in from the parking lot?

Bottle Barn
Somewhere in Santa Rosa, Sonoma County
www.bottlebarn.com

Join the whinny of the month club, today only...