Bachelor Blog Catfight!

There can be only one.

It’s true in Highlander. It’s true in the Bachelor, and it’s even more true in the land of Sonoma Bachelor blogs.

It has come to our attention that there is ANOTHER blog that claims to have the inside scoop on both Sonoma and The Bachelor. This blog, cleverly called “bachelor.blog” in a retro cool nod to mid-naughties blog naming schemes, is on a site run by the New York Times Halifax News Company.

To be fair, this other blog has some cool things. For example, they nailed that there was a Bachelor viewing party a the Big 3 restaurant at the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn. We concede, and regret, our failure to cover it.

Also, they tend to write from a news angle, versus a “stare at your own bellybutton” angle, which while highbrow, does violate the central ethos of the blogoshere. (“Maximal output, minimal preparation.”)

We cannot confirm nor deny that Maureen Dowd writes this stuff.

As of this writing, that blog has nine posts, this one now has six.

The game is on. Just as the bachelorettes will use their wits, their wiles and their wares to get to Ben, so too shall the Sonoma Bachelor blog use our amazing knowledge of Sonoma, our terrifying eye for detail and our strong stomach for reality TV to win the rose of attention from you, the internet reading public…

Balance Ho Rooms = Sonoma Bachelor

Anagrams! Anagrams! A rag man!

Behind palindromes, anagrams are the coolest things word dorks can talk about. Back in the day, you had to sit down with a pencil and pad and just kind of hack away at them. But now, any goofball with the internets and the bookmark to the Internet Anagram Server can start typing in any word or phrase and get, hundreds, even thousands, of witty, ironic or absurd anagrams.

Type in “Sonoma Bachelor” and what used to be a rather innocuous phrase becomes a titillating tumble of phrases and potential guffaws.

To wit:

A Bachelor Moons (aahhhh…)
Cabals Romeo Hon (almost a koan involving a group of sneaky people, a star-struck lover and his one true love.)
Manacles Bro Ooh could be the exclamation of Ben Flajnik’s drinking buddies when they find out he’s engaged
And even Aroma belch soon which would be uttered, Yoda like, by his friends above after they’ve had a coupletwothree too many glasses of local beers. (We’re thinking something from Lagunitas.)

Which reminds us. Ben’s winery used to be called Evolve Wines, showing a rather intelligent design in his marketing strategy. But we’ve noticed the pernicious addition of an “N” to the wine name, changing it to.. Envolve Wines.

Get it?

Oh sure, maybe it’s a clever play on words. But it gets cleverer when plugged back into the Internet Anagram Server:

Seven Line Vow might test the patience of your betrothed, or at least the Best Man
Elves Vine Now would be a command from a stern Papa Noel to his elite team of diminutive ice winegrape harvesters
and the best one, Love Even Wins.

So, maybe you think you already know what happens with the show. Or maybe you just need to see things from a different angle.

Either way, whether we find out if even love wins, which perhaps we all do, we also want to see what happens to Yak Bell, Cake Bi and Try on Cue for the rest of the season.

Blazed Din Inn